Friday, November 18, 2011


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Okay, so we’ve occupied Wall $treet for almost a month, now what? How do we take this to the next level? Well first, you have to understand your enemy. You wanna know why Wall $treet was drinking Champagne from a balcony while laughing at the protest? It’s because they’re already so deeply entrenched in your gas tanks, your wallets, AND your digestive tracks that it’s nearly impossible to tell where they end and YOU begin. That dump you took this morning… brought to you by Monsanto. 

Look, it’s one thing to sit collectively in peaceful protest but now it’s time to level up. It’s time to go home sit down and do a little research. Take an afternoon and invest a few minutes to find out just how much your bank contributed to the financial meltdown.Research the corporations that make your kid’s snacks, handle your insurance, or refine your gasoline. Find out just how much they contribute to Political Action Committees and then find out where those PACs stand on issues that are important to you. Yeah, I know this seems like hard work but trust me, it’s all there on the Internet. All you have to do is sit down, fire up the computer, and convince yourself that the Internet contains more then just porn. 

Do you wanna know a secret about those people sipping Champagne on the balcony? They’re betting you’re too lazy to do this simple research… and they’re right… because they watch porn too.

Next, we’ve got to fix Congress because let’s face it, it’s as dysfunctional as the cast of Jersey Shore. Seriously, letting Congress vote themselves a pay raise is like letting Alcoholics Anonymous hold meetings in a brewery, someone’s getting drunk and then someone’s getting raped.

Look, this is NEVER gonna get fixed at the polls; the system is broken because our democracy is clogged with money. We have a pay as you go government. Lobbyists are the deliverymen of self-interest; they are the agents of agenda. They arrive in DC with suitcases full of suntans, money, and power. They whisper policy into the ears of our lawmakers as they line up their next putt. All the while knowing that the political action committee they represent is sending out another mass email telling their VERY rich members to pony up more cash because democracy is almost theirs. 

So there you have it. If you want your country back, you’re gonna have to start exercising due diligence every day for the rest of your days… or you can go back to video games, American Idol, and super sized happy meals as if none of this ever happened. Who knows… maybe there IS no spoon.

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